Been a long time since I ranted. One during the fall - trickeration is still not a freaking word - but precious little lately in the always-fun "You Suck" series. Don't worry, I got ya tonight.
My wife and I watch South Park most nights it's on - particularly for the older episodes that were actually predictably funny.
When we watch, however, we cannot escape the ludicrous ads for a weight-loss pill called Lipozene. My real problem with the ad will come a bit later. All you need to know is it's sham. It's not popular on the Internets (read the rest of the results after the first one on the Google search); it's produced by a dubious company, the Obesity Research Institute (mentioned in this settlement release from the FTC); and it makes ridiculous claims that shouldn't stand up to anyone's smell test. No, a pill is not going to make me thinner all by itself, no matter how many layers of mascara you put on that grubby snout.
Problems with the product? Yeah.
Problems with the ads? Hell yeah.
It's an innocuous, throw-away line that doesn't even make one of the ludicrous claims:
"Body fat is unattractive..."
Don't tell me what I should think. I could write all I want that your company should, you know, run its business ethically and without the need for governmental intervention. My guess is that it won't sway you.
And who are you to make such a claim? There are gorgeous, plus-sized women all around us. Caroline Rhea. Queen Latifah. Jilly from North Philly. Holly Rowe. And a thousand other women whose names you don't know, around us every day, beautiful in their own way.
Suck it, Lipozene. Here's hoping the feds drop by soon for another chat...